Just came back from the duplicate bridge session @ NUS. Will update my thoughts...
6:15 pm
Now just on the way out @ YCK mrt. First time in a long time I've seen so many people around, and most of them seem happy.
Happiness - Is it that elusive?
I hate fighting the rush hour crowd now.
The train is especially crowded.
It also doesn't help that I'm feeling apprehensive to start with. I still think it was wrong to come out.
No matter, what I think now is immaterial - I am already on my way towards an impending doom. What a stupid idiot I am for thinking that.
God help me, Lord have mercy on my soul.
6:48 pm
Just came out from Clementi mrt about to board the bus.
I am late.
D-Day H-Hour is approaching rapidly and I am prepared to face it with the utmost uncertainty.
7:16 pm
Just got off the bus. There was this girl whose non-stop hysterical laughter chilled me to the bone on the bus.
And she got off at the same stop as me.
Well I'm heading off straight towards oblivion now.
Wish me luck.
TTFN.
11:11 pm
I am on the train platform.
Another wave of strange feelings.
I am observant. She didn't do something. 1st good sign.
She was was laughing throughout like nothing happened. 2nd good sign.
She even managed to scold me for screwing up boards. 3rd good sign.
But was it all for real? I want to think so, but what if...?
Right now I don't know how to think, what to think, and I don't want to think.
Back at home...
Its midnight when I get home. Absolutely tired, but I have no wish to sleep. Even if I wanted to I won't be able to sleep.
有些时候,不是因为寂寞才想你,而因为想你才寂寞。。。