mY fAIryTalE_

Sunday, September 25, 2005

I'm sorry mei... I know I'm supposed to be sleeping now... But something held me back. In the half hour since we parted I've had the liberty of blog-surfing just like you were. I had a chance to peek into other people's lives. And I realise, that everyone complains. Complaining about commitments, about fyp, about not enough time, about why the world sucks in general. No one, NO ONE, except for two people, mentioned something happy (you know who I'm talking about). Is this a trend? Is this a vicious cycle? Has the world gone mad????

I know there are people who care for me. I know that its wrong of me to sit and sulk and wallow in my own compost. And I know, that by making complaints right here, I'll be like all the other people I mentioned above. Do I want to be like them?? NO!! I want control of my life. My thoughts. My actions. My feelings. I want to be myself.

I have to reach inside and find the part of me I never knew existed.

It sounds so stupid doesn't it?

Right now I have the Final Fantasy X intro theme playing. Its in piano. And its good.
And then I set to think...

So what if my world has gone to pieces? There are people willing to come help me pick them up and assemble them together again right?
Right?
Or am I just deceiving myself again...?

I've done a lot of thinking in the past half hour. About me. About myself. About the people around me. About some people more than others. About a few more people.

And no I still don't get it. Why is the world unhappy? Why am I unhappy? Am I unhappy????
Why are things the way they are?

Do people really make a difference in this world? If yes then why is this world in such a presumably bad shape? If not then what is the reason for our existence?

Do you really think that a sentence of "Don't worry, you'll be fine" or "Trust me, you'll get through this" really helps? No... A sentence is just mere words. It can be altered, changed to one's will, can be adapted to one's circumstances.
What helps, is the love underlying those sentences. Love cannot be quantified, cannot be written down, cannot be seen, cannot be heard, cannot be physically manifest or physically altered.
It can only be felt with the heart.
And once you've felt it, you'll agree.

And I have reached a conclusion.

I was unhappy. I was complaining.
No longer.
I am starting to see the truth.
That I can help myself. That I must help myself.
That others can help me. That others are willing to help me.
And that I must accept their help.
So that this world won't be as bad as it seems. So that we all may survive on this world.

I have reached another conclusion.

This world needs more love. More light. More truth.
Words of wisdom, step aside.
Love, come on in.
Love rules =)

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. - Pearl S. Buck