Saturday, October 08, 2005
Its been almost 2 weeks since I last blogged. To say that a lot has happened since that would be a gross understatement.
I don't know where to begin.
But still I must begin somewhere.
Right now it feels like my world has been shot to pieces. "1000 words" by Jade is playing on windows media player now. Has it really been that long since I last played FFX-2?
Ah... How carefree life was then!
The song is very enchanting. I won't mind listening to it everyday of my life. I can't believe I've come so far since then. The hiatus from blogging has enabled me to step back to view the bigger picture. About my life. About the people around me. About the things around me. About the things I do. The decisions I make. The thought processes that go through my head.
No, I will not reminisce and I will not be philosophical.
The song has changed. It is now a song from the anime Hunter X. I don't claim to be an anime fan, nor do I watch any, but this song is enthralling to say the least. I took to it the moment I first laid ears on it.
I'm sick and tired of this feeling of helplessness. Everytime something happens, its either I didn't arrive in time to prevent it or I merely aggravated the problem while attempting to lend help or I couldn't do jack to prevent it. Will not helping resolve the problem? Does this world need another cold and unfeeling good-for-nothing? No, I realise it doesn't. This world is sad enough.
I swore I would never walk in the footsteps of you-know-who.
What then?
This dichotomy is killing me inside.
Slowly but surely.
Being torn apart in shreds.
Nobody understands.
Not you.
Not you either.
Least of all you and you.
But I took an oath not to contribute more sadness to this world.
So this is it then...
I bear the weight of the world upon my shoulders.
I bring joy to the world and absorb all its sadness into me.
And all that sadness has nowhere else to go.
Nobody wants to share it.
Yes, Man was born selfish, due to the need for survival.
BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Someday, someone will come along, and offer to share the burden, to lift the world up from my shoulders.
Is it too much to ask for?
Perhaps...
Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. - Albert Einstein